3 days to go...

then I take a bus to the plane, then another plane and then a train, another train and one more train.

Ugh!  I forgot how much prep work goes into traveling.  I am making lists, going over bills with my son, figuring our what clothes to bring, yada yada yada.

Time is flowing so fast.  Where has May gone?

I wake up and it's dark again.  Seriously, it's kind of scary.

I am more nervous this trip.  Ignorance is bliss I guess.  The last trip (my first ever to Europe) I was just excited.  This time, I know more of what to expect and I feel a bit of anxiety.

I remember the stress of not speaking the language and trains, buses, not sure where to go.  Plus, being on your own, all you have is that voice in your head to talk to and it can get lonely.

I know I will be fine but I am surprised how nervous I am.

In some ways it is easier, knowing what to pack and such.

I don't have any expectations (like my first trip) nor am I trying to recapture all the wonders of the first trip.  This is FIRST 2nd trip, anything is possible, eh?

I will be a worrying mother whether I am in VT, Italy, or on the moon.  No, I can disengage from parenting.  Sometimes I feel bad how easy I can do that when I am on my own.

I don't know what to expect...and these 3am anxiety attacks are getting old.  What the hell is going on in that deep unconscious of mine?  I have no history of this type of thing, even during the divorce or my  sister's death.

There is more going on than meets the eye.  Since I have no clue, I am sure it will come out in my writings.

I am thinking of starting a blog just for the trip.  Hmm...I'll think about it.

I am still in shock that I am going again.  Me? Italy?  Twice in less than a year?  Impossible.  Possible.

The universe works in strange ways...very!

It is surreal to me.  Surreal.

This time next week I'll be in Italy.  Ahh...nope, I can't imagine it.

Still, I am moving forward with prep work and such.  "Show up," that's what my mother reminds me about how best to handle a situation that we fear.

I am not running away.  I am not sure what is going on with the anxiety or the trepidation, but I am showing up.

A baby step at a time.  Here I go...